We've made some big decisions for our family lately. One of them was that I would leave my really great part-time job as a pharmaceutical representative, which provided us a car/van, car insurance, health insurance, and other great benefits. I will now be a full-time stay at home mom to our three boys.
Because of this decision, we have had to shop for insurances and a car. Car shopping, in my opinion, is never fun--especially when you are buying used. You just never know what you're getting.
We'd been looking for a while, and kept coming back to an older sedan. I just kept thinking, with three boys, I really need a van, but I guess we will be ok in this sedan.
And then last week, God provided a VAN! Now, it's nice and will do the job for us, but I'd been used to getting a new company vehicle every 2 yrs.
This is definitely not new. There are imperfections here and there and in fact, we have already had it to the mechanic with a pretty hefty bill in the end (but we've been told it should be good from now on).
Anyway, leaving the mechanic's yesterday, I had to go to Beckett's (my oldest son) preschool. This was my first time driving the van and really hadn't had time to even think about it. I pull into the car line at his school, and as I'm nearing the front I see him, see me. And then I see him jumping up and down and pointing and it looks like he's shouting with a big smile on his face. And then it hits me, he is! I start sinking in my seat with embarrassment. He's excited about his "new ('02) van." As his teacher opens the van door he's talking a hundred words a second, "look at my new van," "would you look at this?" "This is so wonderful" "I have my own fan (vent)". "I have my own light.". "Wow, mom! This is amazing.". And on and on it went. I started to giggle on the way home, trying not to let him see me, when I was hit hard with a dose of HUMILITY!
I had been asking God for a van. He provided! And I'm embarrassed?! Why can't I have the excitement of my 3 year old? God wants me to be grateful. And not just grateful but really excited and happy. I immediately stopped everything and started thanking him for providing my family this van. I thanked him for my three year old and prayed that I could learn to be more like him. And then I thanked him for this moment in which I was humbled. I needed to lose even the little bit of pride I had left regarding my car.
Thank you, Lord, for meeting our needs. You often provide more than we "need" like you did in giving us a van. Though it may not seem "perfect" in my eyes, would you continue to give me these moments of humility so that I may be grateful in all circumstances? Speak to me and remind me of your love for me. Remind me that what you have provided is a blessing. Thank you for these teachable moments. In these moments, you are molding me and stretching me. Thank you for loving me enough to do this.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
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