Being of One's Hour, Reflection by Susan Rose

Being of One’s Hour

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it...

 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!” 

 Psalm 139:13-18 (New Living Translation)

        When I was young I always felt out of place and clumsy, frumpy and socially inept.  I wasn’t funny, I wasn’t really smart, I wasn’t athletic and didn’t have any real talents. Most of my elementary years were spent trying to recover from a kindergartener calling me “Susie-Q –Pew-Pew.”  That kindergartener may have really liked me, at least that’s what my mom said, but he also expressed verbally how I felt about myself.

As I look back at my high school pictures I can now see a really beautiful girl, however I felt far from beautiful.  I only had a few close friends and I clang to my boyfriend with huge insecurities.  I stressed about my clothes, dieted and exercised constantly without satisfaction.  I wore a smiled as my protective guard even when it hurt so no one knew my true feelings.

I then look at my wedding day and how stunning I was.  I really did start to become pretty. I found a man that I didn’t have to rescue but who wanted to rescue me.  I found someone I could confide in, and cry in front of, he didn’t laugh at my sensitivity instead he kissed my tears and hugged me close. I started to grow and love myself, as I saw how much he loved me.

As the time passed my confidence grew and I found talents I didn’t know I had and I made friends I didn’t know I could make. 

Today I am 40 pound heavier than I would like to be, and have some wrinkles around my eyes and patches of grey hairs that needs consistent coloring. 

Today I consider myself to be at the most beautiful time of my life. 

Not the traditional or cultural expressions of beauty, but more like the Koine Greek, where beauty was associated with "being of one's hour". 

I feel my beauty is in the time of my life where I have accepted God’s love for me. Regardless of what the mirror or the media may say about me, my Father in heaven has adorned me with jewels and fine clothes of righteousness. He has given me gifts and my heart’s desires; he has washed me clean with his blood.

I am amazed and basking in his love for me.  I am free to accept love and, in return, to be able to love others.

I think most of us women can agree that when we are in Love we feel Beautiful.

How does God's opinion and love for you change the way you see yourself? 

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