You know that saying, “Be careful what you wish for?”
The year was 2007. I
had been attending CATB for over a year. I joined the first women’s home team and met some truly inspiring
women – Christ-following, Christ-loving women with a passion for honoring God. Peace and joy seemed to radiate from
them. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to know God the way they knew
Him. I wished for a closer relationship
with Him.
But then…
Tragedy struck my family.
Not once, but several times in a row.
Before we could catch a breath from one blow, another hit came even
harder. In a span of six months, my
mother (already disabled from a previous stroke) had emergency quintuple-bypass
surgery, my father was diagnosed with a debilitating disease, then he lost his
job and was caught up in the legal battle of his life. I watched in horror as his spotless reputation
was dragged through the mud and every dollar he had (and borrowed) was consumed
for his defense.
Why so much suffering?
Why, of all people, was my father being
attacked? This selfless, generous,
naturally joyful, Christian man who always follows the rules. Why was he now made to endure such injustice? The questions mounted, but answers were not
forthcoming. As the ordeal wore on, my
parents’ funds completely disappeared, my efforts to help put my own finances
at great risk, the stress made them even sicker, and the whole family looked to
me to find a way out of the nightmare. I
felt helpless to stop the avalanche that threatened to bury us all.
And then…
I got an answer. I finally
stopped just talking to God and listened for His response. He didn’t bother with why, He simply answered how. There I was, all that time praying for a
closer relationship with God, for stronger faith, to experience that peace which
passes all understanding, and here was the perfect opportunity to really trust
in Him. At last, I gave it all up to Him
-- the burden, the fear, the control (I never had that anyway) --- and took a
giant leap of faith that our Almighty Father would see us through, and He
absolutely did.
Why it happened didn’t
matter; HOW we survived was all that mattered.
And, though much damage was done to my parents’ finances and my dad’s
reputation (we learned who our true friends are!), my dad ultimately received a
better outcome in court than we dared hope, his disease went into remission for
a time, and my mother’s health improved significantly.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
In essence, I got my wish...I gained a closer relationship with God. I know He never left us alone in these events. I know our faith in His will and His way got us through. Today, we face life with grateful hearts and no
bitterness.
The year 2007 brought me to my knees in more ways than one. And while I may never know why we had to suffer
such anguish and adversity, I know I have nothing to fear ever again. If I could survive my worst fears, I can
survive anything with God at my side.
What a gift He has given me, freedom from fear! I am comforted like never before by the words
of Psalm 23, verse 4 (KJV):
“Yea, thou I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; for thou art
with me.”
Even in the darkest of times,
I am blessed with God’s unconditional, unending love.
Truly, “My cup runneth over.” (Ps 23:5),
Tina Rodriguez
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