“The Me I Want To Be” Hmmm…. What does that look like? In my head, it’s many things that are probably similar to what you have in your head when you ask yourself that question. First of all, I want to be a God-fearing and God-loving woman. I want to be a wife that respects her husband above all else. A mother who has patience and genuine interest in her children’s every-minute activities. But I also have this trivial side. Like, I want my hair to be this shade of blonde because I feel it accents by skin tone best. And I want my toes to be perfectly pedicured at all moments, especially in the warmer months as they are constantly on display. I want my house to be ordered and my car to be clean and my dinners to be “Yummo,” “BAM” and “Delicioso.” (that’s for you Food Network junkies). Is that the ME I really want to be? Do I want to be like that because my friends are like that or society tells me this is what makes me a super-woman? I have been reading (very slowly as I am usually caught reading with one eye open trying to get through at least one page before falling asleep because my three boys have done me in) through a book with this very title, “The Me I Want To Be,” by John Ortberg. The book is discussing how we get to that ME.
There is a part in this book where the author discusses finding who you are in Christ, and learning to grow into that person. Yes, there will be change, but not change in who God originally designed you to be but rather change towards it. So in other words, as you move closer to the person God thought about when he made you, “you don’t just become holier. You become you-ier.” I love that!!! I want to be me-ier.
I am on a journey to discovering who it is that God had in mind when he thought of me. Who did he want Alexis to be when he knit me in my mother’s whom? What did he want me to accomplish? I’m guessing it was a lot larger than the color of my hair or the cleanliness of my home. I imagine it had some to do with being a mother who shows her children love (in a way that only I can) and teaches them about who God is. I bet it has some to do with the way I love my husband and support him (in a way that only I can), so that he is free to go to work during the day and does not have to worry about our children or the daily tasks that (while not super important) do have to get done by someone. I do know it has to do with being ME, just the way He made me. The Bible tells me, “I am His masterpiece” and since I was hand-crafted by Him, there is no one else quite like me.
Psalm 139:13-16 “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
